ASTRAL PROJECTION CLINIC
OFF-SITE


Eating Glue (for breakfast): Interview with Connor Totten
SITE Galleries, Chicago, Illinois
28.01.26 - 20.02.26



Installation view of Eating Glue at SITE. Images courtesy of the artist.


ASTRAL PROJECTION CLINIC: Connor Totten, do you like Eating Glue?

CONNOR TOTTEN: Is this the first question?

APC: Yes.

CT: I actually have to admit, I’ve never eaten glue. I’ve never eaten glue even though I coined it as the phrase of the season. But I have never eaten glue.

APC: Why glue, why not “Eating milk and cookies”, just like the ones you served at your opening?

CT: I associate glue with craft and assemblage and I feel that as toddlers we are first introduced to glue when crafting. So it is kind of like the first idea of creation.

APC: Which is something that is also indicated in your show. Pure craft.

CT: Yes. Formative experiences of craft.

APC: Which piece would you say is the most indicative of returning to these formative experiences of craft?

CT: I feel that those would be the pieces that deal more with collage and assemblage. For example this one work I have that contains multiple objects colliding together, and Clearwater Beach that has the same mode of making. I found it to be very playful. Getting to feel those experiences of gaining materials and just purely playing with them, that felt more connected to the idea of adolescence.

APC: Something that has been evident throughout your sculptural practice is the concept of addition. Do you think that addition is fundamental to your craft?

CT: There’s a lot of adding and subtracting and then adding again. I feel that within this process is when the concept starts to formulate. That does tie back to my introduction to crafting, through sewing and paper collaging in middle school. But it's mainly been through fashion and making collections in high school and through costuming. Doing fittings for hours and “try this and take it back and move it around”.

APC: Do you think that the works you presented will be subject to modification or are they complete?

CT: I think all of them are done. At this point I’m ready to close the show, pack them up, put them in storage, get them out of my life for a second. I got back into the studio this week and all my walls were left with past plans, studies for the show, and artifacts from the process of making it. I looked at everything and I felt so overwhelmed, like my brain was going to explode. Just looking at everything and going back in time to that space. Now my studio is completely reset with completely new work forming so I’m ready to keep pushing forward.

APC: Will you come back to them in the future?

CT: I don’t know if I’ll come back to them specifically but I do see codes and languages that were formed in the works probably coming back into future works. I’m definitely not done with using monitors and video work as seen in Clearwater Beach, I am definitely not done playing with technology in that realm and forcing it into physical objects. I think that the biggest thing I’ll take away is the use of image making, seen with the image transfers and the monitor video as they click in my brain and I want to continue that.

APC: Do you have an internal compulsion that makes you add things to your work? Is there something at play that tells you “If I don’t add X, the work cannot exist”?

CT: When I’m making I trust myself a lot, I trust my intuition and I trust my gut. If I believe that X element needs to be added, and I don’t exactly get what I thought I would get from that action then I will push towards that. It’s a mix of understanding what I want out of what I’m making and when I don't achieve that and I'm not satisfied, then I know how to satisfy myself. I also like to play with desperation into how I create. As in “oh, this isn't enough!” and dramatizing the process, because I feel like that helps my brain understand simultaneously.

APC: The woe is me of it all.

CT: Woe is me. Exactly. Woe is me, the artist. 

APC: In terms of the sensations and processes you’ve outlined, would you say that they translate into themes present in this exhibition?

CT: I think so. There is an element of desperately craving attention, and throughout some of the works there exist a lot of elements that are very loud, just like visually, or that scream through color and material. The very idea of self-portraiture in the show is definitely indicative of that need for attention.

APC: I would like to come back to the idea of self-portraiture because I wanted to ask you about that, but more so on the desperation, the need for you to be exhibited. You’ve submitted to SITE multiple times with a ferocious attitude. Now that you’ve scored a solo show –your first at that– does this serve an internal purpose? Is this your way of saying, this is something that needs to be seen?

CT: This exhibition? Yeah, for sure. I mean, that's the whole point. It's, it's not...well, it's a little petty, but after being at the school for a few years and seeing the shows that are put on, I never was able to see myself in what the show, what the school was like promoting in those galleries and I always just wanted to push against everything that is being delivered.

APC: So in order to see yourself, you need to represent yourself. Is that what you're kind of getting at?

CT: I guess, yeah. But it also falls on wanting to be surrounded by people that are interested in the same things and I just wasn't finding that in the sculpture department at least. And so I was like, okay, well, I'm just going to make room for myself in the school and in the gallery. And that kind of takes me back to this video I watched at Jacolby Satterwhite [‘s show], right? He was describing his practice as proving himself, proving to himself that he's real and exists in the world through his art. I was thinking about that a lot when putting the show together and seeing it come to life.


APC: With the show, do you feel as if you've proven yourself on a certain basis on a 1st level basis?

CT: I think so, and I think it's in the nature of the gallery itself, the large windows and it being so public. Being able to see my work outside of the studio in a gallery setting surrounded only by my own other work has been really surreal and really weird. I'm walking to class, I'm walking along Monroe and I’m surrounded by dozens of people and we're all just looking at my work through the window that's in the gallery and I'm like, wait, this is really weird and crazy.

APC: Does this fulfill any narcissistic tendencies that exist within you?

CT: Yeah. Yeah, it's beautiful. That's how it is. You know, I feel like all artists have to be a little narcissistic to get by, to believe in themselves in that way and push through the noise.

APC: Circling back to the 2 portraits that you have [of yourself] masked in the gallery in all of their glory, is this a persona that you wish to play around with or do you want people to know that this is me?

CT: I would say it’s a mix. I've dealt with that mask and that persona and that motif since freshman year. And then I revisited it for this. I kept describing, at least over the last like week and a half and I've had to talk about the show.  I did keep thinking about it being this like, It is me, but it's not. It's like an alter self. It's kind of embracing like, because I think, again, I think dealing with self-portraiture, there is a vulnerability of “uh-oh, my image is important!”. I think my image is important enough to create it and then to present it. And I find a lot of fright in that, and I kind of was just thinking about embracing the fright of putting my self-image in front of an audience.

APC: What does this alter ego serve to you as an artist and a person? What is its function?


CT: Yeah, I think it definitely ties back to my education as fashion will never leave me and beauty, costuming, makeup, social adherence are a part of that. I think at least through those portraits, looking at the image, it made me understand. It made me understand how to uncannily subtract identifiable features from the figure and the body as a broader way of looking at the face and the body and the figure. It kind of made me, again, going back to like proving that you're real, like, um, it made me think about the face and the body in space, as a lump of mass and not as “Oh, this person has like the arched eyebrow, and the eyebrows are done, and the eyelashes are this color, and then the eyes are this color, and then the hair's done.” It was kind of trying to mix and match and kind of disappear in myself a little bit as well, I think. 

APC: You're attributing life to this, essentially. And why did you particularly want for these portraits to be life-size and take over somebody’s field of vision?

CT: It all comes back to navigating the world as a queer person. I hate wording it that way but…it's a part of you at the end of the day. It is me. Carrying my identity with me everywhere I go, I feel as if there's something watching over me. But also, as I try to express myself through how I dress and how I present myself in the world, there is always someone looking at me at every moment of the day, even if I don't catch it. I think also it ties back to being in middle school and high school and trying to navigate my sexuality and my identity. Always understanding what it was that I know that I am, but that understanding and what I knew that I was always felt larger than me and it always felt like I could never grasp fully what it is that I know it myself to be.

APC: Do the works in the show serve Connor in the past, Connor in the present, or Connor in the future? 


CT: I think it serves all of the above. Yeah, it's satisfying. I mean, I know if I had a ten-year old me looking at those images, he would be astonished. But then also, I'm very satisfied with it right now and then I know in 30, 40 years I'm going to look back on this show and go "Oh my god, Eating Glue! I'm never gonna not think about it. This feels like a super big milestone for my work.

APC: What is one work that you want for spectators to keep in their minds when they leave the exhibition?

CT:  I think my mind goes straight to Clearwater Beach. Because I look at that work and I can just, I can feel…I mean, literally, I can feel the moment that I first witnessed gay porn. I can also feel the visual of the monitor crashing into the figure surrounded by the concrete. It feels so visceral and tangible and like I can feel my body collapsing as I look at it.

APC: Would you attribute your identity or any other human identity to that figure being squished by the monitor itself?


CT: Yeah, I would hope so. I feel as if it's a representation of other struggles besides my own with identity and beyond.


Clearwater Beach, 2025
Plaster, sand, acrylic, inflatable vinyl doll, silicone, wig, hair extension, video monitor, edited porn, media player, usb, power strip, extension cord, power cords.
4’ W x 4’ W x 2.5’ H
Images courtesy of the artist.


APC: The idea of you as a spectacle, of being admired in the door, was that also present in the fact that you did a ribbon cutting for your opening?

CT: If I had to give the show one sentence, it would be “Embrace overly self-indulgent behavior, feed yourself to a point of no return.” I'm always anxious about, “Oh my god, me talking about myself for 2 seconds within an interaction. Oh my god, you're so selfish. Why the fuck would you spend 2 seconds talking about yourself?” So when I got this show, I was like, okay, I think I'm gonna put this behavior pattern away, and I'm just gonna commit to it. Because I feel like if I weren't to fully do it, then it wouldn't feel authentic.

APC: Would you say the show puts Connor first, and then everybody else?  CT: Yeah, I found that interesting to play with too, because that idea is kind of mirroring what most shows and art that I have consumed lately. I feel like there is this fear of indulgence in the air, it's like everyone wants to please everyone else, but why can't we enjoy someone pleasing themselves?

APC: An overarching theme–once again–seen in Clearwater Beach. Pleasing oneself, but showcasing somebody else pleasing another person.

CT: Then it's like a contradiction because it's the way that the figures like pleasing themselves is so violent and constrictive. Yeah. So you constantly oscillate between self-indulgence and selfishness, and then insecurity of, oh my god, it's too much, I need to tone down.

APC: But it seems to be a part of you. How do you sort of function in the real world with that?

CT: In terms of self-indulgence? I feel like I do it very quietly and silently. I don't like to be loud, but I don't like to be shouting and talking too much, you know? I mean, that's something I navigate every day, I think, with just having anxiety. I think it mostly comes out in the work. When I feel like it, when I don't want to be talking or speaking in a certain way, then I'm going to speak in that way when I'm thinking.

APC: So does art give you a voice for you to be the person that you wish you were?

CT: The other day I had the thought of when I'm making work and navigating what I want to be doing, I want to be talking about. I'm always trying to embrace a behavior that I'm not allowed to embrace, like, in the real world. Like I'm like, okay, I want to engage in, you know, Not that I want to, like, you know, induce harm or anything or like do something crazy. But, you know, I've always been curious about different facets of human behavior and mentalities. And I'm like, okay, let me try to understand how someone could want to be a serial killer. But instead of trying to pry at the serial killer’s brain, I allow my work to engage with that mindset.

APC: Engaging in deviant behaviour without actually being a deviant?

CT: YES! I feel like that kind of came out in the show as well, a little bit in certain moments. Deviancy.

APC: Do you think that a spectator would recognize it?

CT: It’s something I'm still wondering, the level of recognizing that, because again, I feel like that's something societally that, like, no one wants to ask or talk about. Why do you like harming this figure and stuffing it in a cage? Or like, why are you doing this? Because I feel nobody wants to talk about it. I feel like I feel like there is a recognition of it, but just no one wants to, like, explicitly talk about it.

APC: Do you wish to talk about it through your art?

Eldon Stephan: NO ONE WANTS TO TALK ABOUT 9/11.

APC & CT: NOBODY DOES!!!

CT: I do. It's hard because, you know, everyone wants to fucking attack everyone for everything and I'm like, okay, well, what if I want to say that? I was thinking about how someone could kill a body and someone could kill someone, whatever, like, and then they're gonna be like “Oh, my god! I'm gonna report you online, I feel like you're gonna kill someone tomorrow.” Well, that's not true.

APC: Imagine someone reads this interview and reports you to the admin.

CT: But that’s what I’m saying, why can't I just talk about it?

APC: That would be the pinnacle of your career. Somebody reported me to the admin over an interview.

On my 1st show ever, over my 1st solo show, somebody reported me to the admin. Imagine.

CT: That's a marker of success, I feel like.

APC: Do you think a marker of success, artistic success, and merit is provocation?

CT:  I feel like it can be, but it's got to be more than that. You know, it's got a, like, When you're making work, you I'm not saying you should, like, you know, be screaming out loud, but like, I don't know.  In the world that we live in with so much art and so much content to look at, like, Well, I don't know how I want to wear that. I don't know. I think it's a...I think it's a quick, effective way to be seen, obviously. Yeah. But I think the question is whether, like, how long is the work going to provoke? I think about, like, Barbara Genevieve, like, her work is, like, you know, crazy at first, but it's still, like, in conversations and she's, you know, the work that's still being talked about was made, like, 20, 30 years ago. So that's timeless.

APC: Do you think your work holds that timeless quality or will it hold that timeless quality in the future? Obviously, you cannot tell now, but do you think it has the potential to hold it?  

CT: Yeah, I think in my own rule book, I try to...Well, It depends, because I, I try to prioritize capturing, like, the state of the world, kind of, not hugely, but like trying…

APC: The economic and political state of the world…

CT:  I want to think about, if I have a piece in, like, MOMA in, like, 50 years or, like, 100 years, even past my death, and, like, the plaque next to it says 2025. I wanted to make sense of the time that it was made. But also I still want it to feel fresh. and still feel like, Yeah, I try to...I try to achieve that, I would say.

APC: Since you mentioned that there's an abundance of art to see and shows to go and artists to look at, what makes you stand out from the competition? Why should your show be the one to look at and see instead of other shows that are out there?

CT: Coming back to selfishness and narcissism, I feel like I'm bringing up this conversation that I've been thinking a lot about self-prioritization and the advancement of that through capitalism, through, products, through human behavior and evolution, essentially. And I feel like I just haven't engaged. I have engaged with work that talks about that, but not in the way that I'm trying to talk about it in the show. But I guess if I'm trying to think of a selling pitch…

APC: I am the best.

CT:  But like not, I like, yeah, I don't know.

APC: You can say it, it’s fine. Nobody will crucify you. You can say it. I am the best.

CT: I'm scared of saying that.

APC: You can say it.

CT: I don't think I am though. Like, I'm not the best, but, like, I think I'm, I think I'm really good, and I think that, um, I think also I'm, I see myself as an in, an individual that is relevant to moving culture forward. And, like, I think the work is all coming out of me, and I think that's the reason why this show is important.

APC: Do you think that self-prioritization and self-indulgence is a part of autonomy or is the gateway to autonomy?

CT: I think it can be. I think it has to be, yeah, I think it's required. You have to know who you are and you have to understand what, I mean, literally just physically what your body needs. in order to feel autonomous. I would say yeah.

Connor Totten (b. 2005; St. Petersburg, Florida) is a Chicago based interdiscplinary artist. Totten will be earning a Bachelor’s in Fine Arts from the School of the Art Institute of Chicago with a focus in sculpture. Tottens work deals with the body and its autonomy in contemporary culture, through human behavior dictated by industry, capitalism, and the advancement of technology. Select exhibitions include Cheek to Cheek curated by Magnus, Mariana Ito, and Connor Totten, Comfort Station, Chicago, IL; BODYBUILDER curated by Gia Theodoropoulos and Connor Totten, Point Blank, Chicago IL; and College Invitational curated by Alex Moore, Indy Art Center, Indianapolis, ID